Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
