i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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