I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
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I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
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We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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