Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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