I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize