6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I look better un-naked...
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Randomize
