Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
