i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
