before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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