its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the jesus of drinking
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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