I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Fuck appropriateness.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
