If that was your dad, he is hot
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
