I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
