Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
