If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
tell me about the fingering
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