What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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