Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize