So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
