yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize