so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
