Just fell off a train. Bad.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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