I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize