So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Slut skills are useful in every country.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize
