i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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