i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
