i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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