Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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