No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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