I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
