roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
