i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
