Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
