What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
