my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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