Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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