we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
