I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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