i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
