I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
