I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
