i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
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Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
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Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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