What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Randomize