ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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