i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
