my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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