wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
