that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
