Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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