I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
