i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I believe in your delicious
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
