cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
