whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
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