tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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