is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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