He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
