id be glad to
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize