found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
