"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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