Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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