how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
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